YOU ARE THE ARCHITECT OF YOUR OWN FUTURE

GOD'S COUNSEL ON CHOOSING THE LIFE PARTNER

PIVOTAL POINTS FOR THOSE WHO EXPECT TO GET MARIED.

By Petro Tumaini.

The best life mate is only given by God

         

LIST OF KEYWORDS

ž  GC –THE GREAT CONTROVERCY.

ž  PP –PATRIATS AND PROPHETS.

ž  PK –PROPHETS AND KINGS.

ž  FE –FUNDAMENTALS OF CHRISTIAN EDUCATION.

ž  BC –SDA BIBLE COMENTARY (FOR 1BC –VOLUME ONE, 2BC –VOLUME TWO.e.t.c)

ž  AH – ADVENTIST HOME.

“THE TRUTH IS NEVER TOLD SO AS TO BE UNDERSTOOD BUT TO BE BELIEVED”

o       2 Cor  6:14-16            Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in [them]; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. 

o       The world (to yoke in unequal partnership). Comes from the Greek world heterozugeo  which denotes persons of different kind (Mathew 6:24).

o       Other times God spoke the same principles in the following verses ,

o       Exodus 34:16 34:16   And thou take of their daughters unto thy sons, and their daughters go a whoring after their gods, and make thy sons go a whoring after their gods.

o       Deuteronomy 7:1-3    When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee, the Hittites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, seven nations greater and mightier than thou; And when the LORD thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, [and] utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor show mercy unto them: Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.

o        leviticus 19:19 19:19 Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

o        Deuteronomy  22:10, 22:10  Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together. 

o        Philipians 4:3 And I entreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and [with] other my fellowlabourers, whose names [are] in the book of life. 

WHY GOD HAS SPOKEN THESE WORDS.

•         There is great difference interms of ideals and conduct between,believers and unbelievers, christians and non-christians.

•         “To enter in a binding relationship with yhem whether in marriage, in business ,or otherwise, inevitably comfronts the Christian with alternatives of abandoning of abandoning principle or enduring difficulties occasioned by differences in belief and conduct.to enter into a such union is to disobey God and to nbargain with the devil. (SDA BIBLE COMMENTARY, Vol 6,pg 876)

GOD WARN US TO SEPARATE FROM SINNERS THROUGHOUT THE BIBLE.

•         Lev 20:24. 20:24        But I have said unto you, Ye shall inherit their land, and I will give it unto you to possess it, a land that floweth with milk and honey: I [am] the LORD your God, which have separated you from [other] people. 

•         Numb 6:3. 3:6 Bring the tribe of Levi near, and present them before Aaron the priest, that they may minister unto him. 

•         Heb 7:26. 7:26            For such an high priest became us, [who is] holy, harmless, undefiled, separate from sinners, and made higher than the heavens; 

WHO ARE UNBELIEVERS?

•         Those who do not accept Christ as their savior and His teachings as their standard of belief and conduct, the ideals, principles, and practice of Christianity are foolishness. (1Cor 1:8Who shall also confirm you unto the end, [that ye may be] blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.  )

•         Unbelievers find it most difficult to tolerate pattern of conduct that restricts their own ways of living, or regarding that their concepts and practices are evil or inferior.

•         “…the Christian who truly loves the lord  will under no any circumstance unite with unbeliever,even under pious and otherwise commendable hope of winning him to Christ”(BC Vol 6, pg 876)

THE LINE OF DIFFERENTIATION HERE IS UNVEILED BY PAUL WITH 5 RHETORICAL QUESTIONS.

What fellowship between…

•         Righteousness and unrighteousness.

•         Light and darkness.

•         Christ and Satan.

•         Faith and infidelity

•         The temple of god and that of idols.

•         These words spoken by Paul, will lead a lot of people to heaven or to hell because they inspire us that…

–        When you disregard God’s principles in choosing a life mate by choosing unbeliever, it means you have chosen to unite with darkness and for sure you will perish.

–        When you invite God to give you guidelines for choosing life mate for sure you are going to unite with light.

–        God spoke these words because He knows results of mingling with unbelievers or believers.

LETS TAKE A LOOK ON HOW ELLEN G WHITE DWELL ON THE THEME OF MARIAGE ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO ARE PREPARING TO GET MARRIED.

 The truth and the glory of God are inseparable; it is impossible for us, with the Bible within our reach, to honor God by erroneous opinions. Many claim that it matters not what one believes, if his life is only right. But the life is molded by the faith. If light and truth is within our reach, and we neglect to improve the privilege of hearing and seeing it, we virtually reject it; we are choosing darkness rather than light.  {GC 597.2} 

"There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death." Proverbs 16:25. Ignorance is no excuse for error or sin, when there is every opportunity

EXAMPLE OF ISAACK SET BEFORE.

Isaac was highly honored by God in being made inheritor of the promises through which the world was to be blessed; yet when he was forty years of age he submitted to his father's judgment in appointing his experienced, God-fearing servant to choose a wife for him. And the result of that marriage, as presented in the Scriptures, is a tender and beautiful picture of domestic happiness: "Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death."  {PP 175.2}

LINK BETWEEN ISAACK MARIAGE AND STEPS TO BE TAKEN BY YOUTH TODAY

What a contrast between the course of Isaac and that pursued by the youth of our time, even among professed Christians! Young people too often feel that the bestowal of their affections is a matter in which self alone should be consulted--a matter that neither God nor their parents should in any wise control. Long before they have reached manhood or womanhood they think themselves competent to make their own choice, without the aid of their parents. A few years of married life are usually sufficient to show them their error, but often too late to prevent its baleful results. For the same lack of wisdom and self-control that dictated the hasty choice is permitted to aggravate the evil, until the marriage relation becomes a galling yoke. Many have thus wrecked their happiness in this life and their hope of the life to come.  {PP 175.3}

Isaac was very lucky , let’s have a case study of the another person who disregarded God in choosing His life companion. This is Ahab, the king of Israel. 

Taking to wife Jezebel, "the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Zidonians" and high priest of Baal, Ahab "served Baal, and worshiped him. And he reared up an altar for Baal in the house of Baal, which he had built in Samaria." Verses 31, 32.  {PK 114.2}

 Not only did Ahab introduce Baal worship at the capital city, but under the leadership of Jezebel he erected heathen altars in many "high places," where in the shelter of surrounding groves the priests and others connected with this seductive form of idolatry exerted their baleful influence, until well-nigh all Israel were following after Baal. "There was none like unto Ahab," who "did sell himself to work wickedness in the sight of the Lord, whom Jezebel his wife stirred up. And he did very abominably in following idols, according to all things as did the Amorites, whom the Lord cast out before the children of Israel."  1 Kings 21:25, 26.  {PK 114.3}

ž  If Ahab could have made the right choice by avoiding choosing the evil companion for his life (as a wife)  his intellect would have been influenced in a positive way.

ž  When you choose the companion apart from your faith it is possible to cling to what he/she believe, do and perform.

ž  “That’s why somebody said “Birds of the same feathers are flocking together”

ž  In Ahab’s example the issue is not whether a male choose a female who doesn’t believe  or vice versa “The issue is Faith of the companio”

Ahab was weak in moral power. His union by marriage with an idolatrous woman of decided character and positive temperament resulted disastrously both to himself and to the nation. Unprincipled, and with no high standard of rightdoing, his character was easily molded by the determined spirit of Jezebel. His selfish nature was incapable of appreciating the mercies of God to Israel and his own obligations as the guardian and leader of the chosen people.  {PK 115.1}

There is a vague idea where by people think that by marrying unbelievers they will attract them from unbelief to what they believe. Even the wisest person of all claimed by ythe bible ( Solomon)  had this idea. But if you want to know how vague it is read the following passage.

"Solomon made affinity with Pharaoh king of Egypt, and took Pharaoh's daughter, and brought her into the city of David." In forming an alliance with a heathen nation, and sealing the compact by marriage with an idolatrous princess, Solomon rashly disregarded the wise provisions that God had made for maintaining the purity of His people. The hope that this Egyptian wife might be converted, was but a feeble excuse for the sin. In violation of a direct command to remain separate from other nations, the king united his strength with the arm of flesh.  {FE 498.3}

FATAL EFFECTS MUSHROOMED DUE TO SOLOMON DISREGAD OG GODS DIRECTION

CONCERNING MARRIAGE.

During the years of Solomon's apostasy, the spiritual decline of Israel was rapid. How could it have been otherwise, when their king united with satanic agencies? Through these agencies the enemy worked to confuse the minds of the people in regard to true and false worship. They became an easy prey. It came to be a common practice to intermarry with the heathen. The Israelites rapidly lost their abhorrence of idolatry. Heathen customs were introduced. Idolatrous mothers brought their children up to observe heathen rites. The Hebrew faith was fast becoming a mixture of confused ideas.

EVENTUALY WHAT SOLOMON BELIEVED TURNED INTO ASHES.

[1 Kings 11:4-6 quoted.] Solomon lost his connection with heaven, and set Israel an example so misleading that God could not vindicate him. God broke His covenant with Solomon because Solomon was disloyal. Had Solomon heeded the instruction given him, God would have worked through him to reveal to the world His power and majesty.  {2BC 1032.2} 

GOD GIVES PRE-WARNING BY REVEALING OUR ONLY SAFETY

ž  The Lord desires His servants to preserve their holy and peculiar character. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers," is His command; "for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? and what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? and what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, and will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be My sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty."  {FE 499.2}

ž  If there is any subject which should be carefully considered and in which the counsel of older and more experienced persons should be sought, it is the subject of marriage; if ever the Bible was needed as a counselor, if ever ivine guidance should be sought in prayer, it is before taking a step that binds persons together for life.  {PP 175.4}

MAKE HASTE SLOWLY

ž  Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate of ennoble.  {AH 44.3}

ž  Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.  {AH 45.1}

ž  Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and should not be taken hastily. While you may love, do not love blindly.  {AH 45.1}

MANY PEOPLE PUT FORWARD THE IDEA OF LOVE INSTEAD OF WHAT GOD SAYS

ž  You may say, "But I have given my promise, and shall I now retract it?" I answer, If you have made a promise contrary to the Scriptures, by all means retract it without delay, and in humility before God repent of the infatuation that led you to make so rash a pledge.Far better take back such a promise, in the fear of God, than keep it, and thereby dishonor your Maker.  {AH 48.3}

ž  Better to Break Unwise Engagement.--Even if an engagement has been entered into without a full understanding of the character of the one with whom you intend to unite, do not think that the engagement makes it a positive necessity for you to take upon yourself the marriage vow and link yourself for life to one whom you cannot love and respect. Be very careful how you enter into conditional engagements; but better, far better, break the engagement before marriage than separate afterward, as many do.  {AH 48.2}

ž  My friend, up to this time. Considering what the lord has revealed to You. If you are not married

ž  Is your companion comes from your faith or out of your faith.

ž  As far as what you have red is concerned, if you want to be married by unbeliever it means you have decided to refuse God’s direction by following your own decision.

ž  The only safety is better to “terminate” that friendship and start afresh by considering and following what god wants you to do.

MAY GOD BE WITH YOU

REFERENCES

ž  Ellen G White ,THE GREAT CONTROVERCY.

ž  Ellen G White ,PATRIATS AND PROPHETS.

ž  Ellen G White ,PROPHETS AND KINGS.

ž  Ellen G White ,FUNDAMENTALS OF CHRISTIAN EDUCATION.

ž  Ellen G White SDA BIBLE COMENTARY

ž  Ellen G White ADVENTIST HOME